Scientific advancement.......at What Cost?

I must be getting old.

When I was a boy I couldn't imagine talking to my family in London and Berlin and seeing them on video within the space of half an hour just with the touch of a laptop keyboard. It's bloody amazing when I think about it. The other side of the world is over 20hrs flight away (not without risk) yet we can talk to and see our loved ones in real time by bouncing invisible signals off satellites circling our globe.

Sometimes it's refreshing to suspend our cynical view of science as a tool of industry and a threat to our planet and consider the many ways in which science, when applied in the interest of humanity has enhanced the lives and wellbeing of over half the world's population.

There is always a cost....and it seems to be borne by the other half of the world's population. Does western scientific advancement depend on third world misery ? How do we address this imbalance?

Andante

Reincarnation

" When I discovered reincarnation.....time was no longer limited. I was no longer a slave to the hands of a clock....I would like to communucate to others the calmness that this long view of life gives to us"

Henry Forde

Ten tips to Better Living

I feel quite lethargic and dispirited today, and looking to sleep again, But I found this on The Happiness Project and it inspired me to make an effort to get to work. Based on one day at a time:

Personality Type

I learned tonight that my mental confusion could be attributed to me not living entirely in tune with my personality type.

Quite Possible

Trying to be something I'm not?

Yes that could be very tiring over 30 years....

Andante

Integrated Health Pleeeeeeease!

There has to be a more effective way of providing health services in this country.

I am currently seeing four different  medical practitioners who have an interest in my mental health:

1. My GP
2. My Psychaitrist
3. My Clinical Psychologist
4. My Work Doctor

I don't believe there has been one occasion when they have actually spoken to each other in the three years I have been seeing them....not on the phone..nor on email. Just  formal letter with little clinical information.

I NEED AN INTEGRATED HEALTH TEAM!

....One that freely shares information between them..... perhaps even attends a group consultation occasionally.

They each possess valuable information about me such as my medical history, other conditions I'm currently being treated for etc.

I am just becoming a messenger boy between them.

If I'd had an effective targeted medical team I would have been well years ago.

Andante

Think Less

I need to do less thinking ...give my brain some time out

Keep my options simple.

I am not a party planner anymore...I am only able to handle one task at a time....

Stop thinking about all the things that I haven't done....

Nobody on this earth has ever done everything in their lifetime

Stop thinking about all of the things that I want to do 

Focus on doing the things that I can do now

Slow down and appreciate the good things that I have now

Choose five of the most important and spend time nurturing them:

• I have somewhere to sleep tonight
• I have food on my table
• I have no money hassles
• I have a family that loves me and of whom I can be proud
• I can play piano

Andante

There is more to me than black dogs and monkeys.

It's been a pretty intense week so I haven't posted for a while. Some good news to tell but not just now. You'll have to wait.

This blog was created to help make sense of my personal journey through depression and increase awareness of other mood disorders. Unfortunately it gives the impression that my whole life is dominated by a struggle with mental illness. There is more to me than black dogs and monkeys.

I still have enjoyable moments and experience wonderful things in spite of my condition. Life is beautiful and with daily miracles. I'm thinking about creating another blog for these days of my life.

I'll give it further thought before my next post.

Is this as good as it gets?

After a mixed few days I am coming to the conclusion that this is as good as it is ever going to get and that I should accept the limitations that are part of my condition and change my life to better fit my abilities.

When it comes to work for instance I know I won't be up to anything that requires planning or decision making or listening until well after lunch today.

Andante

A Night of Life Affirming Music with the ACO

Image:Marco Borggreve

In keeping with one of my 'black dog' survival tips to get out of the house and engage with people  I decided tonight to grab a late seat at a performance by the Australian Chamber Orchestra

And what a great seat it was! Front Row in Dress Circle. I figured it might be a good ploy in future to buy a ticket as late as possible to get good seats offered up by season subscription holders that can't attend that night.

Watching the ACO perform tonight with Guest Director and lead violinist Patricia Kopatchinskaja makes one glad to be alive.

Without exception each musician on the stage tonight is brilliant in their own right and a master of their craft. It's quite obvious however from the volume and breadth of musical material they are required to learn for a concert tour, that individual brilliance does not arise from natural talent alone but from hard work and constant practice.

Image:Henri Sigfridsson

To see these young musicians keep pace with the energetic virtuosity of world renowned Patricia Kopatchinskaja makes me want to stand up in my seat and punch the air. That is frequently where the live performance takes me.....so so different from a recording.

It's a shame that the raw energy of this ensemble is not heard or seen by younger audience in this town. Most audience  was made up of elderly well heeled patrons.

Funnily enough, or probably to be expected in my case, I struck up an enjoyable  conversation with  a music student who had made himself comfortable in my seat. It turned out I knew his father. Luckily there were spare seats nearby. We had a common interest in music and had a real good chinwag about the contemporary appeal of Vivaldi's music.

In the end I'm glad I attended. I enjoyed some lively conversation and listened to some sublime and life affirming music.

Churchill's Black Dog

 
This short essay written by  Sue Chance M.D suggests 'the Black Dog', the term coined by Winston Churchill as a metaphor for his depression, may have been the very impetus that propelled him to his great achievements. 

It is taken from the Healthier You website

Twitter in the morning and out the door

Photo: Louise Duff



The first thing I did after getting out of bed today
was go for a brisk walk!
That hasn't happened for a while

Not far, not yet.....
but the important thing is I did it
and even enjoyed it

It was like I had excess energy and needed to use it

I suspect increasing my meds might have something to with it

The extra energy creates a need for balance
sending twitters to those parts of the brain
that get you out of bed
into your trackies and joggers
down the stairs and out the door


Normally there is no energy
No twitter

My brain stays in bed too

Empty Nesting?....learn to jump on board and share the excitement

My survival tips will be put to the test over the next few weeks when my daughter leaves home to live in a sharehouse.

Although the move has been planned for some months I think it still will cause me some anxiety . The last time the move was discussed I was in the midst of a depressive episode. My emotional state as you can imagine was extremely fragile. Needless to say I did get pretty stressed by the incident at that time. Now that I'm in a much stronger emotional state I'll be able to deal with the matter more objectively.

Could Mental Illness be a Character Weakness?

Photo: Rod Waski

Here is an interesting and controversial article written back in 1997 by Keith Russell Ablow, M.D. with a hypothesis as to why some people do not respond to treatment for depression. It is Doctor Ablow's view that some patients may lack the depth of inner strength or character to make the life changes and sacrifices necessary to overcome their illness. It has been and still is a very controversial view but may be useful in a some cases for the depressed person to acknowlege and hopefully accept such a proposition and then hoefully turn it into a personal challenge to overcome this last barrier to recovery.

 

For Those Who Don't Understand

Here is is an extract from an article published on about.com website where people with Bipolar disorder or Depression were asked to give their personal account of the most hurtful things said by others about their illness. The lack of empathy and acceptance by family and friends can be devastating for a person who has already lost their self esteem and feel worthless. Living with a friend or family member with a mental  condition can be frustrating and sometimes seemingly unbearable. A mental  condition or mood disorder will test the character of not only the person with the illness but also that of  those around them.

Survival Tips - Progress Report

I started this blog a few weeks ago with a post about self help tips to survive and recover from depression  (Are you really Sick?) and hopefully reduce the chances of succumbing to it again.

It's been about four weeks now since I returned to work on a part time basis gradually increasing my hours until I'm back to the normal full time roster.

I thought I'd  revisit my survival tips one month on to see how successful I have been in using them and which ones have worked better than others. Looking back on it I must have been quite manic to have pursued so many resources in such a limited time. Obviously to even implement half of them was going to be difficult over time.

In fact there is a real danger that I 'll fall back into my previous patterns and habits particularly now I'm back at work. Finding time and energy is now a problem.