How do you Think Other People Perceive You?

I attended one of those little discussion groups last night....you know....the ones where you sit around in a small cosy group in a comfy room with scented candles and a warm fire and talk about feelings and emotions and do role plays and games.

This workshop was with a group of new friends whom I met during a recent course, which  not surprisingly was also about getting more enjoyment out of  life. A small group of us continued to stay in touch and had got to know each other a little better during that time.

The workshops were little extensions of the original course. This one was about 'self image', the way we imagine other people see us  and the way we see others. It was conducted in a lighthearted manner and we enjoyed a lot of laughs and shared personal life stories some of which were quite candid. Surprisingly  the  insights gained from the night  resonated very strongly with a number of us. In my own case it was really comforting to know how others viewed me given my propensity to self doubt.

One of the exercises we did was to test out own self image against how others actually perceived us.

Following is a list of 13 descriptors (chosen from a list of about 100) that the other members collectively but anonymously  thought best described me. Except for one descriptor , all of them were included in my own list of how I thought of myself. Here they are:

1. Accomplished
2. Artistic
3. Conscientious
   
4. Funny
5. Gentle
6. Idealistic
7. Intelligent
8. Kind
9. Organised
10. Persevering
11. Polite
12. Talented
13. Thorough

It was I know, a bit of a game designed to reinforce our self esteem. Noticeably lacking in the list were 'negative' descriptors which may have led to less than cheerful personal outcomes.

But, all said and done, it was great to know that the positive qualities that most of us wanted other people to see in us were in fact, for the most part, reflected in their response. In other words we shouldn't be over concerned with what other people may think of us and instead make sure that we act as naturally and as authentically as we can.

Many of the descriptors ascribed to me are common to ADD....why is this not surprising!

One surprise on the list for me was 'Gentle', a descriptor which I had on my own list but was a bit shocked to think  it was so obvious to others.

The other surprise is 'organised', a personal attribute I would never expect to own. But I can understand that the strategies and tools (such as schedules, lists, timetables) those of us with ADD have to put in place in order to get through our day, (every day) might appear to others as being well organised.

We should then take that as a  compliment to the hard work work involved in achieving that image! It's indeed better to be known for that quality rather than the less endearing view that many outsiders hold of ADDers as being  disordered and forgetful .

I'm chuffed

Andante