Adult ADHD and Stress

This is a really good article on Stress and ADHD by  by Jennifer Koretsky that was published in the Fall 2009 issue of ADDitude magazine:

"How to 'Treat' Your Worry.....Why every ADHD treatment plan should include stress-management techniques, and how 'treating my worry' helped me.

When I stopped worrying about what others thought of me, the self-imposed pressure and stress lifted. I could handle almost anything.

In my early 20s, I lived and worked in New York City. One morning, I was riding a crowded subway. I was late to work, as usual. I had an early meeting that I hadn’t prepared for. I also felt guilty, because I had to leave my brand-new, whimpering puppy home alone for several hours.

If all this weren’t bad enough, a nearby passenger kept stepping on my toes. The first time he did it, I huffed. After the third time, I yelled at him, unleashing a string of epithets. I nearly had a breakdown.

My Life, Pre-ADHD Diagnosis

From the outside looking in, I seemed to have a great life: I was a superstar in my company. I had a nice apartment, good friends, and a supportive family. Yet I was overwhelmed by everyday life. I felt as if I always ran behind. My apartment was never neat enough or clean enough. I didn’t go to the grocery store often enough. I looked around and saw a city full of people who seemed to juggle it all. I judged myself harshly.

So I pushed harder to keep up with everyone else. 

It didn’t work.

Pushing harder only led to more stress and, eventually, to burnout.

Thinking about all the things I should be doing was so taxing that I fell apart regularly. It was a cycle I went through many times.

Stress and Adult ADHD

 
The day of my subway rant, I knew that something had to change. I saw a therapist and was eventually diagnosed with adult ADHD. As I educated myself about the condition, I discovered that the feeling of being overwhelmed was common among adults with ADHD.

When I was stressed out, I had less control over my ADHD symptoms

 I was more likely to get distracted, and I lost track of time more easily. On the other hand, when I was calm and centered, I could pay attention in boring meetings and keep the fridge stocked with something more nutritious than Crystal Light. I decided I would break the cycle of self-imposed stress, once and for all, so that I could enjoy the happiness and success that I deserved.

Slowing Down

 
I gave myself permission to slow down. Sometimes it was easy: I’d listen to music, take a long walk with my dog, or meet a friend for lunch. Other times, I had to force myself to turn off my chaotic brain by attending a yoga class or going to a concert. I soon learned that a little bit of relaxation went a long way in helping me meet the challenges that my ADHD symptoms threw at me. 

It was only when I slowed down that I realized that my unhealthy lifestyle was increasing my stress levels. 

I ate takeout food at mealtimes, barely got by on five hours of sleep each night, and used my free time to camp out in front of the TV.

I started small, by making dinner for myself a few nights a week. When I became comfortable with that adjustment.....


I worked on getting more sleep, forcing myself to turn off the TV at 11 p.m. and reading a book until bedtime instead. I hit the gym after work, as well as before a meeting -- exercise always cleared my head.

Accepting ADHD as a Part of Myself

 
Most important, I stopped comparing myself to others.

My ADHD made me different from other people.

When I accepted that truth, I didn’t care whether my desk was as neat as my coworkers’ desks. If I could find what I needed, I was in good shape. 

When I stopped worrying about what others thought of me, the pressure and the stress lifted. I could handle pretty much anything -- even having my toes stepped on by a wobbly passenger in a crowded subway.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

  

Andante:  I personally related to one of the comments to Jennifer's post....It's not too optimistic though! Here is an abridged version:

"I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD, along with the LD, depression, big-time anxiety, and extremely poor short-term memory. After many years being a "science project" with meds, I'm now on Vyvanse. I MUST be on a med that doesn't contain a stimulent.

My career has always been a fast-paced one dictated by schedules made up by others. I know I'm slower to produce than others. 

And that in itself doesn't bother me. When I fall behind in schedules and take the heat for it, that DOES bother me! With the economy as it is, and having a mortgage and other bills that must be paid, I simply can't go looking for something that carries a slower pace, and lower pay to go with it.

I already took one major hit a few years ago when I was very unexpectedly "retired". My income dropped dramatically by the time I could land a new job......with a lot of help. My income never will return to what it was.

The bills are the same though! Jobs today for those laid off are VERY few and far between. Management claims to understand about my ADHD. 

However, I'm treated the same as the rest who are at a higher job title. Without a degree, I can't advance. I surely can't afford to quit work and go back to school. I'm burned out by the end of the work day as it is!  

And at this stage of my career, and seeing retirement not all that far over the horizon, I see no need to try to go get a degree. 

I've accepted the position I'm in, although expectations are for me to perform as if I had the degree and job title to go with it. I'm just not getting paid for it! So, I haven't been able to slow down the pace at work. 

After work, I do have control, and can slow down as best I can. 

I do get exercise daily in the form of walking, mostly at work though. The pedometer varies from 15000-20000 steps/daily, some running up and down stairs. I'm finding now that I need QUIET when I get away from work....time for my scattered brain to re-group.

I do get 7-8 hours of sleep....with meds, and usually have to give up another hour to unwind such that I can sleep at all. 

My social life is a disaster! I have NONE! Trying to find a "soul-mate" who wants to slow down with me has been futile.

I've now pulled back to take control of my life (outside of work), and do what works for me. I live alone, and feel that maybe this is the way it's supposed to be for me. 

Noisy and crowded places just add to the anxiety. So I avoid them! Now, at this stage, I am worried that my life outside of work won't get any better. 

Having a room-mate in years past didn't work at all for me. That just gave me a feeling of my entire environment being out of control. 

I'm in this court all by myself with not so much as a glimmer of hope of finding my true "soul-mate". That, in itself causes me great stress. The stress is fed by worry. And that all leads to more depression (I'm already max'd out on anti-depressants from other "science experiments"). And around and around we go.

I can accept the truth! I'd just prefer to not have to live it alone. And, in case you're wondering, yes, I've tried the online dating routes to no avail. I'm afraid that this just might have to be another piece of the puzzle that I'll have to accept. To keep fighting it just causes more stress.

I'll stick to sailing, movies, music, walking.....the things that allow me to "de-stress", and just move on....... Diet hasn't had a noticable impact on any of the above. As long as my numbers are in-range, my doctor's not concerned. It's all hereditary, I know. I watched my dad suffer with this for over 30 years before he passed on. I didn't want to follow the same path. But here I am. 

His only saving grace was my mom. I don't know how she survived it all once he was diagnosed.....AFTER I was diagnosed. Much too late in the game for him. I can do what works for me as I stated above. But that doesn't mean the world around me has to follow. And it doesn't."